Saiyuki Online Chatting
by bardalicious
Summary: This is what happens when Sanzo, Hakkai, and Goku talk online. This is rated t for some rude humor, Hakkai refers himself as a girl This was coauthored by Fenjienren and bakazaruaddict.


Disclaimer: I don't own Saiyuki

This story was co-authored by Fenjienren and bakazaruaddict! This chat between Hakkai, Sanzo, and Goku are based off of real chatting events! This is what happens when Sanzo, Hakkai, and Goku chat online.

Saiyuki online chatting

* * *

Sanzo has joined the conference

Hakkai has joined the conference

Goku has joined the conference

Sanzo: Tch. how old are you, Hakkai?

Goku: HI! I'm 518! or 18 if you prefer!

Hakkai: greetings!

Goku: -giggles-

Hakkai: 15

Sanzo: oh..

Goku: Im the youngest! yay!

Sanzo: you're a girl, right?

Sanzo: you're our baby, Goku!

Hakkai: YES!

Goku: yay!

Hakkaii: You're the baby of the group!

Hakkai: YAY!

Hakkai: For once, I'm not the youngest

Goku: Hahaha!

Sanzo: ha ha ha

Hakkai: Aw man, it's like nine pm over here

Hakkai: phhhht

Goku: really?

Hakkai: ya

Sanzo: ha ha

Goku: it's 12:00pm here

Goku: ryt?

Hakkai: WOW!

Sanzo: yeah.

Sanzo: there.. i'm in..

Hakkai: I stayed up until five am yesterday, I was over at a sleepover, that's when I changed my profile and everything cause their computer is better than mine.

Sanzo: oh..

Hakkai: And my friend Kaze and I are writing a story about how we get stuck in the Saiyuki world. And I get to kiss Goku on the cheek.

Hakkai: O.o

Sanzo: no! O.o

Sanzo: you can't do that!

Goku: Goku's... MINE!

Hakkai: Sorry

Sanzo: YOU CAN'T KISS GOKU!

Goku: O.o

Sanzo: NO!

Hakkai: It was a brotherly kiss

Sanzo: HE'S MINE!

Goku: MINE!

Hakkai: I kiss myself.

Sanzo: he's still mine.

Goku: MINE!

Sanzo: hey!

Goku: MINE!

Hakkkai: OK! STOP!

Goku: GOKU'SMINE!

Hakkai: hee hee

Sanzo: O.o

Goku: O.o

Sanzo: GOKU's MINE!

Hakkai: you guys are cute

Sanzo: THEY'RE ALL MINE!

Sanzo:))

Hakkai: Goku, is himself

Sanzo: O.o

Hakkai: There, I said it, he belongs to himself

Sanzo: hey, He's right!

Sanzo:D

Goku: And I'm Goku!

Goku:D

Sanzo: i'm sanzo!

Sanzo: that why I own goku!

Hakkai: I'm HAKKAI!

Sanzo:D

Sanzo: where's your hakuryu!

Hakkai: Um...he's asleep

Goku: and i own sanzo then!

Sanzo: oh..

Sanzo: no, I own you!

Sanzo: nobody owns me!

Sanzo: ha ha ha ha

Goku: Hakkai! you have a portable jeep!

Sanzo: Ha ha ha ha ha

Hakkai: YAY!

Sanzo: yeah

Goku: i own you!

Hakkai: I can't drive yet

Goku: I can!

Hakuryu: Cheep!

Goku: haraheta...

Hakkai: Whoever said nothing is impossible, never tried slamming a revolving door

Goku:...huh...?

Hakkai: Sorry, random quote

Sanzo: HA HA HA!

Goku: Ok!

Sanzo: XD

Hakkai: LOL

Hakkai: LMFAO!

Hakkai: ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

Sanzo: can I have hakuryu?

Hakkai: No, he mine

Hakkai: sorry

Sanzo: i've read a trivia that hakuryu should've been my pet and not yours...

Sanzo: so, he's mine!

Sanzo: he's mine!

Sanzo: MINE!

Sanzo: MINE!

Hakkai: Wait, where's Gojyo? changes subject Doo doo doo doo doo

Hakkai: Sanzo's gone mad. whispered

Sanzo: right, where the hell is that ero kappa?

Sanzo: I'm not!

Sanzo: hakuryu's mine.

Hakkai: Ha ha and no

Hakuryuu: kyuu kYU Kyuuu KYuu kyuu KYuuuU KYUUUUU kYUU! (translation: hello!)

Sanzo: i can prove it to you guys

Sanzo: shows them picture of him in the driver's seat

Hakkai: Shoot me.

Sanzo: laughs

Sanzo: BANG!

Sanzo:

Sanzo:P

Sanzo: BABABABANG!

Hakkai: KABLOOEY! shoots ki beam

Goku: Ha ha ha ha!

Sanzo: I cast a spell on you hakkai! CAST MAGIC!

Sanzo: KABOOM!

Goku: I eat you all!

Goku: I EAT YOU AAAAAAAAAALL!

Hakkai: now now Goku!

Sanzo: O.o

Sanzo: ah!

Sanzo: I HAVE MY FAN RIGHT NOW!

Sanzo: don't you touch me!

Hakkai: MONKEY GONE MAD! PRIEST GONE MAD!

Sanzo: i'm warning you!

Sanzo: Ha

Sanzo: ch

Hakkai: takes his fan whacks Sanzo with it

Goku: hides behind hakkai

Sanzo: hey!

Hakkai: THERE! YOUR OWN MEDICINE!

Hakkai: There there Goku. pats his head

Sanzo: what the

Sanzo: grrr...

Goku: purrs

Sanzo: takes out a cigarette and smokes

Sanzo: damn saru.

Hakkai: no smoking

Hakkai: starts laughing

Sanzo: says who?

Sanzo: smoke smoke

Hakkai: Says your mom. starts laughing again

Goku: rubs tummy SANZOOOO... HAKKAAAAIIIIII... HARAHETA!

Sanzo: feh!

Sanzo: yurasai!

Hakkai: Here. gives him meatbun

Sanzo: hey, did you know that my waistline is only 22! (sanzo's waist line)

Goku: takes it

Sanzo:P

Goku: really? I'm 24!

Sanzo: continued smoking

Sanzo:...:P

Sanzo: i'm sexy..

Goku: I'm...

Hakkai Sanzo just stuck his tongue out and said he's sexy! WOW!

Sanzo: HA HA HA!

Sanzo: you guys are driving me mad.

Sanzo:D

Hakkai: You drive me madder

Sanzo: O.o

Sanzo: ...

Goku: And you drive me hungrier!

Hakkai: Sanzo's crazy, huh?

Hakkai: YESH!

Sanzo:...

Goku: I'll eat you all!

Sanzo: yurasai, baka saru!

Goku: rawr!

Sanzo: get off me!

Hakkaii: I'll juts leave you guys stranded here

Hakkai: just

Gojyo has just joined the conference

Sanzo: Feh.

Hakkai: punches Gojyo

Snazo: check it out...I OWN HAKURYU

Hakkai: NO YOU DON'T! whacks Sanzo

Sanzo: 5/02-08/2004: Didja know that when Minekura-sensei first created Saiyuki, as a doujinshi in 1995, she originally had Sanzo in the driver's seat for the journey West? (Between that and a sketchbook piece she did for a fan in June 1995, maybe in that embryonic stage she was considering giving Sanzo the relationship with Jeep that ultimately went to Hakkai...?)

Sanzo: hey!

Sanzo: what the hell!

Hakkai: What the h-hell?

Goku: something's wrong with the comp...

Sanzo: now, give me jeep

Sanzo: no, my computer's just fine..

Hakkai: NOPE! runs off with jeep

Sanzo: give me that!

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: jeep is mine!

Hakkai: NO!

Goku: Umm...

Sanzo: feh!

Hakkai: FEH!

Goku: i'll be back...

Sanzo: oh, sure..

Goku: I'll restart the computer...

Hakkai: kk

Sanzo:...

Goku: something is wrong...

Hakkai: kk

Sanzo: turns to Hakkai

Goku:brb!

Sanzo: give me jeep.

Goku has left the conference.

Hakkai: NEVER!

Sanzo: give him back

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: give it..

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: give it back

Hakkaii: IT MIN!

SAnzo: give it back!

Hakkai: MINE!

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: he's mine, (((!

Hakkai: NO! YOU BUDHIST!

Sanzo: i told you, give him back!

Hakkai: NEVER!

Sanzo: grrr

Hakkai: bursts out laughing JEEP IS MINE! JEEP IS MINE!

Sanzo: grr...

Hakkai: NEENER NEENER NEENER! NEENER NEENER NEENER!

Sanzo: i told you, he's mione

Sanzo: mine!

Hakkai: NO!

sanzo: ch

Hakkai: TCH!

Sanzo: grrrr...

Hakkai: GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Sanzo: the hell!

Hakkai: THE HELL OF WHAT!

Sanzo: grunts away

Sanzo: nothing

Hakkai: Ok...I'm calmed down...

Sanzo: started smoking

Jeep: Kyu!

Sanzo: ch.

Hakkai: YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Hakkai: Ahem

Sanzo: --;

Sanzo: continued smoking

Hakkai: goes back

Hakkai: That was nice.

Sanzo: he's mine.

Sanzo: bua ha ha

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: what?

Hakkai: runs away with Jeep again

Sanzo: ...:

Hakkai: NO!

Sanzo: O.o

Hakkai: keeps on running NO!

Sanzo: i'm not gonna' stealing jeep...

Sanzo: he's yours..

Sanzo: sigh..

Hakkai: NO! runs into Sanzo

Sanzoi: i'm still sexy..

Hakkai: No you're not, I am!

Hakkai: smiles

Sanzo: my waist line is 22, yours is 24.. so I'm sexier than you.

Sanzo: and I have more fans that you.

Hakkai: I HAVE MORE MUSCLE THAN YOU!

Sanzo: grr..

Hakkai: WANNA FIGHT! I CAN USE CHI! CHICKS DIG CHI!

Sanzo: i still have more fans than you

Hakkai: NU UH!

Sanzo: go ahead..

Sanzo: started chanting the maten sutra

Sanzo: bring it on!

Hakkai: BRING IT ONNER!

Hakkai: ok, that didn't make sense

Sanzo:...

Sanzo: geez, i forgot my line.

Sanzo:...

Sanzo: what the hell was my line again?

Sanzo: ba.. ma...

Sanzo: um..

Hakkai: GEEZ SANZO! YOU'RE NAME SHOULD BE IMAI THEN LAST NAME DIOT! IMAIDIOT!

Sanzo: jyo..

Sanzo: jyu..

Sanzo: ah...

Sanzo: ...

Sanzo: bah!

Hakkai: MAKAI TENJOU!

Sanzo: right!

Hakkai: HA HA HA HA! runs away

Sanzo: come back here!

Hakkai: NEVER!

Goku has joined the conference.

Goku: hello!

Sanzo: saru's back

Sanzo: hey, saru

Goku: yay!

Sanzo: hakkai's making fun of me

Hakkai: YOU'LL DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH SANZO!

Goku: missed me?

sanzo: bite him

Sanzo:

Goku: wow...

Hakkai: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

Sanzo: my god, i thought you were hakkai.

Goku: you guys are close friends now!

Sanzo:...

Hakkai: I know

Sanzo: well..

Goku:...

Sanzo: ...

Hakkai: He loves me!

Sanzo: i just forgot my line and he called me idiot, bite him, saru!

Sanzo: he's hurting my feelings, dammit!

Hakkai: NO! HE INSULTED ME! IDIOT!

Goku: I'll eat you!

Sanzo: eat him!

Goku: I'll eat both of you!

Hakkai: Gojyo: I'll eat everyone!

Sanzo: no!

Hakkai: SHUT UP!

Hakkai: I HATE PEAS!

Goku: I hate celery!

Sanzo: eat or die! takes out his gun

Hakkai: I HATE PICKLES!

Goku: I'd rather die...

Sanzo: I love yakiosba with mayonnaise..

Hakkai: PICKLES ARE ON THE ENGAWA!

Sanzo:...

Sanzo: i hate all of you

Hakkai: I hate you too Sanzo

Hakkai: Jk

Hakkai: I don't

Sanzo:...

Hakkai: I love you Sanzo

Sanzo:D

Hakka: PUTO!

Goku: I love all of you! -huggles-

Goku: wow!

Sanzo: you know puto?

Hakkai: I love you too! huggles

Sanzo: O.o

Goku: you know that?

Hakkai:YEAH! I LOVE IT!

Sanzo: what the?

Hakkai: IT'S SOOO GOOD!

Sanzo: oh..

Sanzo: i have one right now..

Sanzo:...

Goku: You have puto in america?

Sanzo: and i'm eating it...

Sanzo: maybe..

Sanzo: or maybe not.

Goku: I want a pork bun!

Sanzo:))

Hakkai: I WANT A MEAT BUN AND A VEGETABLE BUN!

Sanzo: here, eat this! randomly fires his gun

Goku: laughs

Hakkai: I HAVE A GUN TOO! grabs machine gun shoots everywhere

Sanzo: BANG! BANG! BANG!

Sanzo: jesus!

Hakkai: BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM!

Goku: I have a big mouth! I'll eat you all!

Hakkai: BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

Sanzo: don't eat me, baka saru!

Hakkai: EAT HIM! HE'S MEAN TO YOU!

Sanzo: don't!

Hakkai: DO!

Goku: I'm full...

Sanzo: flashes his golden annex card

Hakkai: sweatdrop

Sanzo: if you eat hakkai, I'll buy all the food you hell ask!

Goku: Besides, both of you does not taste good...

Sanzo: hey, i taste good/

Goku: NO you don't

Hakkai: Yeah, he tastes good!

Sanzo: youkais wouldn't run after me if I don't

Hakkai: I don't!

Sanzo: yes, i do.

Hakkai: Just not in that sense. Bite him

Sanzo: ...

Sanzo:don't bite me, saru!

Goku: Umm...

Sanzo: pushes him away

Goku: runs away

Sanzo: don't!

Hakkai: DO IT AND I'LL LET YOU DRIVE THE JEEP!

Sanzo: hey, where the hell are you going?

Goku: YOU GUYS ARE FREAKING ME OUT!

Sanzo: HA!

Sanzo: shut up! shouts at goku

Goku: hides behind Gojyo

Hakkaii: runs after him I'M THE NICE WHAT!

Gojyo: What?

Sanzo: yeah.. what?

Hakkai: jumps on Sanzo GRRRR!

Sanzo: hell, where the hell is my harisen? it's missing inside my robe... XD

Goku: Gojyoooooo! they're freaking me out!

Hakkai: I HAVE IT! BUAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Sanzo: who's tsuki?

Gojyo: So?

Hakkai: Sorry, mistake

Sanzo: ack!

Hakkai: I meant to put Gojyo

Sanzo: XD

Hakkai: DIE SANZO!

Sanzo: wahT?

Gojyo: You're a good guy Hakkai

Hakkai: Oh, yeah. Ok, hi Sanzo

Sanzo: shut up and die!

Sanzo: ...

Hakkai: SHUT UP! attacks him again

Goku: wahhh!

Sanzo: surprise.

Sanzo: ack!

Goku: You guys are weird! you're freaking me out!

Gojyo: It's ok. That's usually us

Sanzo: fires his gun at hakkai

Sanzo: shut up, saru and help me!

Hakkai: GRRR!

* * *

To be continued... This conversation has been brought to you by bakazaruaddict, Ashler, and Fenjienren 


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